Monday, June 18, 2012

Quilters and their sicknesses

Just read this on another message board and thought I'd copy/paste it: Big Grin

A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cases memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others. 

Sound tests have also reveled that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "quilters." When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me and sew me." 

In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones! Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called Quilt Fabric Store Clerks. 

It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile." 

To "FIX" this sickness.... check out our friends at DJ's DISCOUNT FABRICS ...   you can find them on the internet at .  Diane is a sponsor for our retreat, and a new fabric store on the web ... so go check her out!  And tell her that you saw her on CIRCLE OF FRIENDS RETREAT BLOG!

Have a great week and happy sewing!

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I'm a member of the Ozark Piecemakers Quilt Guild

I'm a member of the Ozark Piecemakers Quilt Guild

Branson Scenery

Branson Scenery
Table Rock Lake has over 800 miles of shoreline!